Zero Waste TP: I Sh*t You Not

Hello lovely humans! I was inspired by one of my (cr)happiest friends while on a visit to Richmond, to tackle the #2 topic on everyone’s mind: Poo. Everyone does it, everyone is kinda weird about it, and some people even flush halfway through as if needing 2 toilet fulls is less embarrassing than the muffled toot we both know everyone heard. Toot on people, toot on.

If you’re interested in more information about our wastewater treatment facilities in VA, DC or MD, or if you’re interested in following the poop trail check out these nifty sites: Largest advanced wastewater treatment plant in the world, poop and port-a-potties, Alexandria ReNew, and finally an in-depth look, albeit exhaustive, plunge into how we treat our waste water.

Gonna go ahead and throw out an audible “sorry mom!” disclaimer on this one…

This isn’t everyone’s favorite topic to talk about but we’ve been potty training my niece and I’m just so gosh darn proud of her that I’ve lost all sense of discretion.

You can do your business and still keep going towards zero waste. It’s called “going” zero waste for a reason. You’ll always be striving to do better and that’s a good thing!! For my less advanced or adventurous zero wasters, I have started with small environmentally-friendly steps that progressively get more intense.

For zero waste beginners I suggest using an eco-freindly alternative to toilet paper:

Rebel Green:

100% Tree Free.

Soft, tree free paper products made from sustainable bamboo. In just 3 to 4 months, bamboo is fully matured and ready to be harvested again. Compare that to trees that can take 30 years to regrow. Their tree free paper products are safer, earth-friendly, and gentle on the planet.

Their tree free paper products are also carbon neutral. With the help of The Paradigm Project, they offset the cost of transporting these products by donating cook stoves to people in need in developing countries.

Who Gives a Crap?:

100% Tree Free.

These bathroom products are made from sustainable bamboo forests. The company does not use inks, dyes or scents. Bonus! 50% of their profits help build toilets for those in need!

Other good alternatives would include Seventh Generation or anything wrapped in paper, 100% recycled toilet paper and TP without the cardboard roll in the middle.

If you’re looking to really commit and make an impact on our planet I suggest the following alternatives for more adventurous pooper troopers:

DIY Butt Wipes!:

gross? maybe… I haven’t tried it. But plenty of people who have made the daring jump to cloth diapers for kids, have easily made the switch to cloth toilet paper. The difficult task here is coming up with an efficient laundry scheme. Provide an extra trashcan with a lid for disposal and always keep a roll of eco-friendly tp (of the flushable variety) for your guests! Zero waste is a choice and we should let each person make it when they’re ready!

Or of course, there’s always an adorable Etsy alternative!

Now. If you’re really committed to going zero waste then boy do I have a surprise for you! Let’s talk bidets.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120:

  • chrome-plated water pressure control knobs for a more elegant look.
  • Neo 120 is constructed with high-pressure faucet quality valves with metal/ceramic core and braided steel hoses instead of traditional plastic.
  • Includes everything you need including tools to get your bidet up and running in minutes. Easily attaches to and detaches from any standard two-piece toilet. The hose can be trimmed with a utility knife to exactly fit your bathroom’s dimensions
  • Self-cleaning feature sanitizes the nozzle and retracts when not in use for maximum protection. The bidet also features a convenient movable nozzle guard gate for extra protection and easy maintenance.

RinseWorks – Aquaus 360 Patented Hand Held Bidet:

  • 360 degree pressure control.
  • New ergonomic design, combined with the perfect size spray pattern and dual adjustable thumb pressure controls allow you to easily rinse your front and back bottom areas quickly and neatly, keeping your hand clean and dry as you rinse.  
  • The average person spends over $90 a year for toilet paper. A family of 4 can use over $350 a year. Using the Aquaus 360° Hand Held Bidet / Shattaf and rinsing with fresh running water reduces toilet paper use by 90%.




2 Comments on “Zero Waste TP: I Sh*t You Not

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